Thursday, September 16, 2004

Love Stinks, Love Stinks, Love Stinks 

There may be more annoying sights, but right now I'm convinced that the most annoying sight to see is two people flirting.

I'm in this "situation" now, in which I've got to watch two people flirt on an almost daily basis, and it's killing me. Seriously, I'm at the end of my rope. It's not a matter of "if". It's a matter of when I will stand up and say:

"Why don't you two just sleep together? For Christ's sake. Everybody knows you both want it. Oh, sure, she's got a long-time boyfriend. Well, I wonder what the boyfriend would think of her spending all that time at your desk when she's supposed to be at her own desk? No, no, no. Don't you try to tell me there's a reason to be at his desk. I've heard your conversations. You think I can't hear? I sit right next to you! How could you think I wouldn't hear? That's not "studying" or "training" or anything other than flirting. Admit it. You both want each other. What's so difficult about that? Just dump the boyfriend and get a motel room.

But for the sake of sanity, stop. Stop the sitting over there in your seat, leaning toward him, but not really looking at him. Stop all the laughing at what is not funny. Stop the lilting voices, the secret whispers, the showing off. Stop the facade. Stop the madness.

Why is it so hard for people in their 20s? You want to have sex, you know you both do. Just do it. Why does there have to be all that excess? It's unnatural. It's unnecessary. It's annoying. Why can't it be as simple as "meet, like each other, sex"? Huh? Oh, don't give me that nonsense. There are condoms. Buy some. They are there to be used. They come in many sizes, styles, and colors. So don't give me that STD business. And don't give me that line about feelings. All I feel is fucking annoyed at you two feeling horny but too embarrassed to do anything about it so you just continue to sit by each other, feeding the "canister of horny". And you know what's going to happen if you keep filling that canister and do nothing about it? Do you know? Do I have to spell it out for you?

You're going to burst. It's going to be big, loud, messy, disgusting, and it's going to get everywhere. And, being that I sit close by, I don't think I can take that. So please. Get a motel room. Buy a condom. Have sex. Put the rest of us out of our misery."

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