Tuesday, February 08, 2005

On Distrust 

Parents often wonder why they can't get the truth out of their kids. I can pinpoint the exact instance in which I began to choose . . . oh, other options than the truth when speaking to my parents.

Picture it -- it's 1985, I'm enjoying my formative years of grade school. I especially enjoy my Saturday nights, when Channel 18 plays Tales from the Darkside, that spooky television show about the, er, darkside. Except this great little program only comes on at 1:00 in the morning. So I bring my sleeping bag downstairs, and sit up through Saturday Night Live and an hour of either Showtime at the Apollo or Amazing Discoveries to get to Tales.

Of course, by 7:30am church the next day, I am a zombie. So at some point in time, my mother says to me, "So why do you stay up so late on Saturday nights?" With great hesitation, I consider this question. "It's OK, sweetie. You can tell me, even if you think it may be something I won't like. You can tell me."

Hey, sounds reassuring, right? I can tell her, even if she's not keen on the idea -- great. So I tell her about this cool show that's on late at night:

"Well, that's the end of that! You're not staying up late anymore and then going to church the next day half-asleep! And just for a ridiculous show! That's the end of that!"

Can you blame me for not allowing myself to make that idiotic mistake again? I still wonder about all the episodes I missed due to my own, naive stupidity. You heard it here first, kiddies: don't tell the truth. When it comes to television, movies, quality entertainment: lie, lie, lie.

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