Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Jugular
At the start of the Milwaukee Brewers' current road trip, I made the pronouncement:
"The entire season hinges on this road trip. They must win one in Arizona, two in San Fran, and then two in Chicago. 5-4. If not, the season is lost, and I'm going to the games only for the nachos."
They promptly won two -- that's right, two! -- in Arizona. And then they got swept in San Fran and lost the first to the Cubs. So -- for this cowboy -- the Brewers' season is over.
Oh, sure. They could get hot. They could still win the division, go to the playoffs, get on a role, and make their way all the way into the World Series. Here's why they won't.
1.) The Cubs won't. See, the Cubs peaked about a month ago. They were on fire. Then . . . the wheels fell off. They peaked too early. What does this have to do with the Brewers? The Brewers peaked IN JUNE. They're so far from good baseball, they don't even remember it anymore.
2.) It's not just one thing that needs fixing. The managing has been erratic, the starting pitching has been weak, the relief has been unpredictable, the hitting (aside from Ryan Braun) has been slumping, there are still some injury issues, and the trade deadline has passed. The odds of all those things improving just marginally are pretty low.
3.) The Cards are coming on just too strong. They know how to win. We don't. Want evidence of that? All this year the Brewers have been celebrating the 25th anniversary of the 1982 season. Yes, that's the season in which we LOST the World Series. Uh-huh.
4.) And here's the most important reason the Brewers are going to miss the playoffs and finish below .500: They are the Milwaukee Brewers. It's what they do.
I don't write this with great malice. I am a season ticket-holder. But I know reality when it stares me in the face. It didn't help matters when the Brewers scoffed at fate and sent us season ticket-holders a post-season ticket package. That was the day before they lost five straight, so the gods of baseball couldn't have been too amused.
Listen, I hope they do well. I hope they make it. But they won't. It's over. It's football season.
"The entire season hinges on this road trip. They must win one in Arizona, two in San Fran, and then two in Chicago. 5-4. If not, the season is lost, and I'm going to the games only for the nachos."
They promptly won two -- that's right, two! -- in Arizona. And then they got swept in San Fran and lost the first to the Cubs. So -- for this cowboy -- the Brewers' season is over.
Oh, sure. They could get hot. They could still win the division, go to the playoffs, get on a role, and make their way all the way into the World Series. Here's why they won't.
1.) The Cubs won't. See, the Cubs peaked about a month ago. They were on fire. Then . . . the wheels fell off. They peaked too early. What does this have to do with the Brewers? The Brewers peaked IN JUNE. They're so far from good baseball, they don't even remember it anymore.
2.) It's not just one thing that needs fixing. The managing has been erratic, the starting pitching has been weak, the relief has been unpredictable, the hitting (aside from Ryan Braun) has been slumping, there are still some injury issues, and the trade deadline has passed. The odds of all those things improving just marginally are pretty low.
3.) The Cards are coming on just too strong. They know how to win. We don't. Want evidence of that? All this year the Brewers have been celebrating the 25th anniversary of the 1982 season. Yes, that's the season in which we LOST the World Series. Uh-huh.
4.) And here's the most important reason the Brewers are going to miss the playoffs and finish below .500: They are the Milwaukee Brewers. It's what they do.
I don't write this with great malice. I am a season ticket-holder. But I know reality when it stares me in the face. It didn't help matters when the Brewers scoffed at fate and sent us season ticket-holders a post-season ticket package. That was the day before they lost five straight, so the gods of baseball couldn't have been too amused.
Listen, I hope they do well. I hope they make it. But they won't. It's over. It's football season.
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Iron River: August 2006
We arrived Saturday night after taking a wrong turn. It was still light out, so we went to the local Iron River IGA and picked up groceries. Nolan ran the store, knocking over cans and picking out juice. We got back and made sloppy joes. We were careful to be quiet for the owners, who were sleeping next door that night. The cabin was old and kitschy, but also cozy. We had to Nolan-proof it a bit.
We woke up on Sunday and canoed to Hart lake before Nolan got upset. It was sparse and quiet. Afterward, we drove the triangle, north to Port Wing and Herbster, east, skipping Bark Point, passing Cornucopia, which the locals called "Cornie", and then through the Redcliff Reservation, and finally south to Bayfield. We hung out there for a while. Nolan napped, so we ate lunch at Morty's. It was a hassle, though, because the service was slow and the kid woke up with nothing to do when we should have already eaten and left by then. Out of tourist guilt, I still tipped the guy, which was a mistake. He never looked us in the eye. We left and walked around the town a bit. It was rainy. We drove aimlessly, looking for one of the many berry patches in the area, but they all seemed to be closed on Sunday. We completed the triangle, driving back west along 2. We had dinner and built a fire. Nolan got to try marshmallows and climb on the overturned canoe.
Somehow, Nolan took an early nap the next day, so we went to White Winter Winery and bought some wine that I don't remember; some great, sugary soda; blueberry bar-b-que sauce, and blueberry coffee from Michigan, which we still have. The lady behind the counter creeped us out because she asked a lot of questions, found out where we were staying, and then tried to get us to rent her place. We left and drove west to go hiking in Brule. The scenery was great, but Nolan had to check out every twig, so it was slow going. We sat down right in the middle of the trail and had lunch. We got Nolan moving again by holding Twizzlers for him to run for. We finished and left, but kept driving west to Amnicon Falls. It was buggy, so we didn't hike long. We saw the beach, and walked around the falls. Then we drove west to Superior, where we bought lobster and buffalo, but no gator. Superior was run-down, depressing. So we turned around for home. Nolan had his first shower. He wasn't a fan.
We spent Tuesday at Madeline Island, but didn't get to see too much because we didn't have a car or bike. We swam. Nolan played on the playground. I remember there being a mean kid there. We saw the old Ojibwe cemetary and walked the marina. We had lunch upstairs, and the kid was covered with ice cream.
On Wednesday, we biked through Iron River, but Jess got sick of it. I think it was hot. We went swimming in Moon Lake -- Nolan loved it, but he loved the playground next to it more. The beach was empty, but for three teenage girls who only tanned; one talked about if her boyfriend asked her to marry her. They talked like characters from a bad 80s movie. After we got back to the cabin, we canoed to Hart Lake and rowed around some more, seeing the spacious houses on the shore. Nolan got antsy, so we headed back.
On Thursday, we drove down to Delta and had breakfast at the great Delta Diner. Afterward, we drove north again, and had lunch on the shore of Superior at Cornie. It was perfect weather. We bought fudge, whitefish dip, crackers, fresh trout, fresh whitefish and cheese curds. Then sat down on the beach. It was the best lunch I've ever had. Afterward Jess took a picture of Nolan and I over the Sisikit Falls in Cornie before we got back in the car and drove east. We picked blackberries, fighting away flies, outside of Bayfield. Then we drove south to Ashland. Jessica was delighted to a Pamida, which is necessary to have on any vacation, I learned. They had two-liter bottles of expired soda for sale for 29 cents, but we passed. We kept driving south, to Mellon, finally arriving at Copper Falls. We walked the great trails and saw each of the falls. Nolan ran and ran, especially enjoying the large wooden bridge. After exiting the bridge, he found a small oak tree and shook its trunk as hard as he could, laughing uncontrollably. The picture I took of that is the wallpaper of this computer's desktop.
We woke up the next day, and Jess made blackberry pancakes . . . except used salt instead of sugar (saltcakes!). The fridge had long stopped working, so we bought ice to keep things cool. We canoed the lake and played in the back yard. Later, we went to the county fair. We saw the sheep judged and looked at some of the local displays. Nolan played some awful fair game managed by a young woman who looked like she hated us. We saw a dog performance/competition and tried deep-fried cheese curds, which were awful. We left for some fish fry, but the service was terrible, and the fish wasn't even local. But the local A&W Root Beer made up for all that with its skate-up service. We lit another fire, and Nolan kept trying to jump in the water or fire.
I went for a final run the next day, down the county highway, around Twin Bear Lake, to Eagle Lake, then back out to Muskellunge Lake, where I could hear the motorbikes leaping and snarling. As I approached the cabin, the little boy at the corner yelled at me, and the deer peered at me from atop the slight hill.
We woke up on Sunday and canoed to Hart lake before Nolan got upset. It was sparse and quiet. Afterward, we drove the triangle, north to Port Wing and Herbster, east, skipping Bark Point, passing Cornucopia, which the locals called "Cornie", and then through the Redcliff Reservation, and finally south to Bayfield. We hung out there for a while. Nolan napped, so we ate lunch at Morty's. It was a hassle, though, because the service was slow and the kid woke up with nothing to do when we should have already eaten and left by then. Out of tourist guilt, I still tipped the guy, which was a mistake. He never looked us in the eye. We left and walked around the town a bit. It was rainy. We drove aimlessly, looking for one of the many berry patches in the area, but they all seemed to be closed on Sunday. We completed the triangle, driving back west along 2. We had dinner and built a fire. Nolan got to try marshmallows and climb on the overturned canoe.
Somehow, Nolan took an early nap the next day, so we went to White Winter Winery and bought some wine that I don't remember; some great, sugary soda; blueberry bar-b-que sauce, and blueberry coffee from Michigan, which we still have. The lady behind the counter creeped us out because she asked a lot of questions, found out where we were staying, and then tried to get us to rent her place. We left and drove west to go hiking in Brule. The scenery was great, but Nolan had to check out every twig, so it was slow going. We sat down right in the middle of the trail and had lunch. We got Nolan moving again by holding Twizzlers for him to run for. We finished and left, but kept driving west to Amnicon Falls. It was buggy, so we didn't hike long. We saw the beach, and walked around the falls. Then we drove west to Superior, where we bought lobster and buffalo, but no gator. Superior was run-down, depressing. So we turned around for home. Nolan had his first shower. He wasn't a fan.
We spent Tuesday at Madeline Island, but didn't get to see too much because we didn't have a car or bike. We swam. Nolan played on the playground. I remember there being a mean kid there. We saw the old Ojibwe cemetary and walked the marina. We had lunch upstairs, and the kid was covered with ice cream.
On Wednesday, we biked through Iron River, but Jess got sick of it. I think it was hot. We went swimming in Moon Lake -- Nolan loved it, but he loved the playground next to it more. The beach was empty, but for three teenage girls who only tanned; one talked about if her boyfriend asked her to marry her. They talked like characters from a bad 80s movie. After we got back to the cabin, we canoed to Hart Lake and rowed around some more, seeing the spacious houses on the shore. Nolan got antsy, so we headed back.
On Thursday, we drove down to Delta and had breakfast at the great Delta Diner. Afterward, we drove north again, and had lunch on the shore of Superior at Cornie. It was perfect weather. We bought fudge, whitefish dip, crackers, fresh trout, fresh whitefish and cheese curds. Then sat down on the beach. It was the best lunch I've ever had. Afterward Jess took a picture of Nolan and I over the Sisikit Falls in Cornie before we got back in the car and drove east. We picked blackberries, fighting away flies, outside of Bayfield. Then we drove south to Ashland. Jessica was delighted to a Pamida, which is necessary to have on any vacation, I learned. They had two-liter bottles of expired soda for sale for 29 cents, but we passed. We kept driving south, to Mellon, finally arriving at Copper Falls. We walked the great trails and saw each of the falls. Nolan ran and ran, especially enjoying the large wooden bridge. After exiting the bridge, he found a small oak tree and shook its trunk as hard as he could, laughing uncontrollably. The picture I took of that is the wallpaper of this computer's desktop.
We woke up the next day, and Jess made blackberry pancakes . . . except used salt instead of sugar (saltcakes!). The fridge had long stopped working, so we bought ice to keep things cool. We canoed the lake and played in the back yard. Later, we went to the county fair. We saw the sheep judged and looked at some of the local displays. Nolan played some awful fair game managed by a young woman who looked like she hated us. We saw a dog performance/competition and tried deep-fried cheese curds, which were awful. We left for some fish fry, but the service was terrible, and the fish wasn't even local. But the local A&W Root Beer made up for all that with its skate-up service. We lit another fire, and Nolan kept trying to jump in the water or fire.
I went for a final run the next day, down the county highway, around Twin Bear Lake, to Eagle Lake, then back out to Muskellunge Lake, where I could hear the motorbikes leaping and snarling. As I approached the cabin, the little boy at the corner yelled at me, and the deer peered at me from atop the slight hill.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Start Getting That Hair Cut Sharp
I think I'll enjoy being 35 years old. Because then I'll be eligible to be president. So whenever anyone starts bitching about politics -- because people don't really talk about politics anymore; we only just bitch about it, like clucking hens -- I can say, "Well, I'm able to run for president now, so just you look out. Don't upset me. I may do it."
