Friday, November 30, 2007

Til the Time is Right 

I was on a night run last week when a '1st' occurred. When you've been running 16 or so years, there aren't as many firsts as there used to be. I was just jogging along old Superior Street here in good old Bay View -- you know, "the friendly south side", they call it. And it was dark out -- and cold. So cold -- and of course I was underdressed -- that I was running fast with fists clenched to stay warm. And as I approach this parked minivan with only its parking lights lit, I hear the minivan 'lock up' upon my approach.

I've never thought of runners as intimidating, but I guess everything changes when the light goes down.

I thought, at the time, that I would like to explain to the person that I wasn't a threat, but now I think it was good they locked up. I think carjacks would be cut down significantly if people just hit the locks. What's so hard about that? And what carjacker wants to shoot the person through the window, ruining the car, getting blood everywhere? And of course they'd still have to move the body to drive it. It doesn't make any sense. Lock up, then drive away. It can't be that hard.

That's why I can't stand the horror movie cliche in which someone is being chased, and they're too afraid to think coherently. And they run -- and don't they all run like pansies? -- until they trip. Then they keep tripping, because that's convenient, isn't it? That hasn't been done before.

I guess what I want is a horror movie in which the people prepare really well, don't make any mistakes, and avoid all the silly cliches....but still the bad guy gets in. Now that's scary. Not people being stupid and getting stabbed. People playing it smart and still getting it.

Saturday, November 03, 2007

You Might Think You've Seen The Coolest Thing, But This is the Coolest Thing 

Of all time:

The Apple Girl 

I know I've talked about this before, but it bugs the absolute fuck out of me that this ex-girlfriend I had like . . . more than 8 years ago didn't want to hear my rant on hypocritical gender values in the post-feminist era.

Really, I just had an issue with the whole medieval concept of the guy laying down his cloak over a puddle so the woman could walk over the puddle without getting wet.

What bullshit sense does that make? You're telling me that the water won't soak through the cloak and get her feet wet anyway? Come on.

That's all I really wanted to say, and she couldn't entertain me. Right then I knew -- not just that we wouldn't last together, but -- that I disliked her fiercely. I wasn't asking for give and take. Just hear me out.

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