Sunday, January 25, 2004
Two Passing Toward Iowa
"I saw you, you know. I saw you that night," he said, indicting, watchful.
"Where?" she said, looking at the carpeting.
"We passed your car, going out of town. I yelled to you, but you didn't hear. Then I wasn't sure it was you."
"Oh, it probably wasn't," she said, shaking her head, feet moving again, bouncing lightly from ball to heel. "Besides, it doesn't matter. It's all over with. There's nothing to argue about."
The skin on his arms prickled. He felt a drip of sweat slap his hip. "What do you mean, 'It doesn't matter'? Of course it matters! Do you assume I just don't care? That I should just accept this?"
She sighed, but her feet kept tapping, ankle bobbing. "You have to understand that I needed this. I needed to close the door on that part of my life."
"Huh? At the expense of--"
"Don't yell at me. Don't!"
He wanted to spit at her, the way she pointed at him. It reminded him of words like "grammar", "mathematics", "phonics", and "rules".
"You know how hard it was for me to leave Iowa. Last weekend was more about Iowa than--"
"Don't give me that! How would you like it if I just went out to a bar right now and decided to--"
"You are twisting the issue!" She clapped her hands as she said this.
He rolled his eyes.
"This was about moving on with you. How could I possibly have a life with you if my mind was still on Iowa?"
He blinked and gulped the rest of his white Russian. He hated her pink shoes.
"Listen, I can see you're still mad. Why don't we just forget about it and watch a movie? You can just lie down hear and let me take care of you."
"Yeah, it's easy for you to lie down for someone, isn't it?"
Her eyes narrowed and she snapped up, kicking over his empty drink. She knelt to pick up broken glass. She watched him slowly study her every grasp of finger to glass to basket. She watched his solid eyes.
"I did this for you. I did this for us."
"Bullshit." He felt a nerve tingle in his shoulder. It was like receiving a shot. She slid into the chair and faced him, her ankle bobbing again.
"We needed this. I needed this. We would not have lasted if I hadn't gone to Iowa."
"Don't call it that. Don't act like you visited relatives. You went there and ruined us. And you say you saved us? Well, I'll go out right now. Right now. There's a girl in my physics lab who'd be dying to help me save us."
There was moisture on the windows and a moth pounded against the light above them, its sound an unrelenting rhythmic static.
"I am telling you we needed this."
"As long as you tell me we needed Iowa," he said, pausing to hold her ankle still as he forgot the wetness under his arm, "then I will tell you that it needed us."
"Where?" she said, looking at the carpeting.
"We passed your car, going out of town. I yelled to you, but you didn't hear. Then I wasn't sure it was you."
"Oh, it probably wasn't," she said, shaking her head, feet moving again, bouncing lightly from ball to heel. "Besides, it doesn't matter. It's all over with. There's nothing to argue about."
The skin on his arms prickled. He felt a drip of sweat slap his hip. "What do you mean, 'It doesn't matter'? Of course it matters! Do you assume I just don't care? That I should just accept this?"
She sighed, but her feet kept tapping, ankle bobbing. "You have to understand that I needed this. I needed to close the door on that part of my life."
"Huh? At the expense of--"
"Don't yell at me. Don't!"
He wanted to spit at her, the way she pointed at him. It reminded him of words like "grammar", "mathematics", "phonics", and "rules".
"You know how hard it was for me to leave Iowa. Last weekend was more about Iowa than--"
"Don't give me that! How would you like it if I just went out to a bar right now and decided to--"
"You are twisting the issue!" She clapped her hands as she said this.
He rolled his eyes.
"This was about moving on with you. How could I possibly have a life with you if my mind was still on Iowa?"
He blinked and gulped the rest of his white Russian. He hated her pink shoes.
"Listen, I can see you're still mad. Why don't we just forget about it and watch a movie? You can just lie down hear and let me take care of you."
"Yeah, it's easy for you to lie down for someone, isn't it?"
Her eyes narrowed and she snapped up, kicking over his empty drink. She knelt to pick up broken glass. She watched him slowly study her every grasp of finger to glass to basket. She watched his solid eyes.
"I did this for you. I did this for us."
"Bullshit." He felt a nerve tingle in his shoulder. It was like receiving a shot. She slid into the chair and faced him, her ankle bobbing again.
"We needed this. I needed this. We would not have lasted if I hadn't gone to Iowa."
"Don't call it that. Don't act like you visited relatives. You went there and ruined us. And you say you saved us? Well, I'll go out right now. Right now. There's a girl in my physics lab who'd be dying to help me save us."
There was moisture on the windows and a moth pounded against the light above them, its sound an unrelenting rhythmic static.
"I am telling you we needed this."
"As long as you tell me we needed Iowa," he said, pausing to hold her ankle still as he forgot the wetness under his arm, "then I will tell you that it needed us."
