Thursday, February 12, 2004
Imperfection Week, Volume 2: I AM HOPELESS WITH WOMEN
Sure, I may be married now. But that doesn't erase:
1.) I once cooked a feast of a meal for a woman . . . who ate, drank, and dumped me right after setting down her fork.
2.) I, not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, but FIVE TIMES believed women when they told me they "just wanted to be friends". The total instances of contact or conversation with these women, these friends, after the break-up? All five women? One. One time: a horridly embarrassing, tense conversation. There's a reason they say they "just" want to be friends.
3.) I once believed I could maintain a relationship with a girlfriend who moved to Australia.
4.) I once plucked up the courage to ask out a girl I'd developed a crush on -- I walked over to her, sucked down a gulp of liquid courage, and was about to speak when . . . she turned and began making out with her girlfriend.
5.) I once believed women cared/listened to what you said in bars.
6.) I once got up the courage to call a woman . . . but then hung up just as her phone went to voicemail. Luckily she had caller-ID, called me back, spent two years with me before agreeing to marry me, and now graciously puts up with all my shit.
1.) I once cooked a feast of a meal for a woman . . . who ate, drank, and dumped me right after setting down her fork.
2.) I, not once, not twice, not three times, not four times, but FIVE TIMES believed women when they told me they "just wanted to be friends". The total instances of contact or conversation with these women, these friends, after the break-up? All five women? One. One time: a horridly embarrassing, tense conversation. There's a reason they say they "just" want to be friends.
3.) I once believed I could maintain a relationship with a girlfriend who moved to Australia.
4.) I once plucked up the courage to ask out a girl I'd developed a crush on -- I walked over to her, sucked down a gulp of liquid courage, and was about to speak when . . . she turned and began making out with her girlfriend.
5.) I once believed women cared/listened to what you said in bars.
6.) I once got up the courage to call a woman . . . but then hung up just as her phone went to voicemail. Luckily she had caller-ID, called me back, spent two years with me before agreeing to marry me, and now graciously puts up with all my shit.
