Saturday, May 08, 2004
Free Bird Now
"So what's a good saw to use to cut open a gutter?" I asked the Ace Hardware guy, who then looked at me as if to say, "You call yourself a man?"
"A hacksaw. Aisle six."
So I went home and cut open the gutter. Jessica and I have an old house, and the gutters lead (against current code) straight into the sewer. After standing next to the gutter, hearing the terrified scuffing and struggling of some small animal inside, we agreed: we have to get it out; it could clog the sewer.
Which was bullshit, of course. We just didn't want to admit we felt bad for the bird. There were varying opinions on the subject, though:
Jessica's mother: "It's dead. It's in the sewer now. It made it through. Or if it's not, just let it die. But that's me!
The tenant: "What a stupid bird."
The Ace guy: "Oh, it'll fly out. How high is the gutter? Thirty feet? Oh, it'll fly out."
So with half the gutter cut open, I got worried that the bird was sitting on top of the hacksaw. So we pushed the gutter in, gaining a new respect for whoever installed our gutters, until it squeezed out, covered in blood, and Jess caught it in a sheet to take to the humane society.
"A hacksaw. Aisle six."
So I went home and cut open the gutter. Jessica and I have an old house, and the gutters lead (against current code) straight into the sewer. After standing next to the gutter, hearing the terrified scuffing and struggling of some small animal inside, we agreed: we have to get it out; it could clog the sewer.
Which was bullshit, of course. We just didn't want to admit we felt bad for the bird. There were varying opinions on the subject, though:
Jessica's mother: "It's dead. It's in the sewer now. It made it through. Or if it's not, just let it die. But that's me!
The tenant: "What a stupid bird."
The Ace guy: "Oh, it'll fly out. How high is the gutter? Thirty feet? Oh, it'll fly out."
So with half the gutter cut open, I got worried that the bird was sitting on top of the hacksaw. So we pushed the gutter in, gaining a new respect for whoever installed our gutters, until it squeezed out, covered in blood, and Jess caught it in a sheet to take to the humane society.
