Tuesday, June 08, 2004
One Wrong Way
When I was a captain for my cross country team, I had goals for what I wanted to happen. Most revolved around the team and the future of the program. But I did, based on the other leaders of the team, have a loose idea of what kind of captain I wanted to be, and it had a little to do with almost every aspect of the team.
The thing about leadership, though, is that you have to have respect -- but respect, as any poor leader knows, is never a given. What was given is that I was an average runner with a good work ethic. Guys like me could do well, but not without working hard and getting a little lucky. And what was clear, at one point, was that I could talk a pretty good game. But a good talker is only that until it's backed up. It's got to be backed up consistently, but most importantly, you've got to impress people.
This may not be the ideal, but this is how a bunch of competitive 20-somethings work when thrown together. And when you're all trying for the same thing, it gets emotional. Thus, this takes us to the day after I suffered a slight knee injury during my third year of running. I missed about a day and a half of running. It wouldn't be serious, but I was still worried. There were only so many spots for the regional team. What kind of captain could talk a good talk, but then not make regionals? A talker, that's what.
So there's some talk and nervous energy in the locker room that Saturday. And I listened for a while as guys talked about position and what-ifs. They were sizing each other up, trying to find a way into the picture. Being spooked by the injury, and pissed off about missing some time, and sick of the talk, and worried about becoming a talker, I announced to the locker room that they could all stop talking because I was going to make the regionals team before any of them did.
There was a bit of a silence, and I walked out. A few weeks later, someone told me I pissed off a whole group of guys. I knew that. It was ballsy. And stupid. But I did make the regionals team, and I ran well. And I avoided becoming just a talker. It's funny, because I had to alienate people to get their respect.
I know someone could say, "Well, you could've made the team without trash-talking everybody else." And that's right, theoretically. But again, it's 20-somethings spending too much time trying to push each other. And I wasn't that good of a leader. If I hadn't extended myself, I might not have made it.
The thing about leadership, though, is that you have to have respect -- but respect, as any poor leader knows, is never a given. What was given is that I was an average runner with a good work ethic. Guys like me could do well, but not without working hard and getting a little lucky. And what was clear, at one point, was that I could talk a pretty good game. But a good talker is only that until it's backed up. It's got to be backed up consistently, but most importantly, you've got to impress people.
This may not be the ideal, but this is how a bunch of competitive 20-somethings work when thrown together. And when you're all trying for the same thing, it gets emotional. Thus, this takes us to the day after I suffered a slight knee injury during my third year of running. I missed about a day and a half of running. It wouldn't be serious, but I was still worried. There were only so many spots for the regional team. What kind of captain could talk a good talk, but then not make regionals? A talker, that's what.
So there's some talk and nervous energy in the locker room that Saturday. And I listened for a while as guys talked about position and what-ifs. They were sizing each other up, trying to find a way into the picture. Being spooked by the injury, and pissed off about missing some time, and sick of the talk, and worried about becoming a talker, I announced to the locker room that they could all stop talking because I was going to make the regionals team before any of them did.
There was a bit of a silence, and I walked out. A few weeks later, someone told me I pissed off a whole group of guys. I knew that. It was ballsy. And stupid. But I did make the regionals team, and I ran well. And I avoided becoming just a talker. It's funny, because I had to alienate people to get their respect.
I know someone could say, "Well, you could've made the team without trash-talking everybody else." And that's right, theoretically. But again, it's 20-somethings spending too much time trying to push each other. And I wasn't that good of a leader. If I hadn't extended myself, I might not have made it.
