Tuesday, July 06, 2004
And then the dog peed on my wife.
It's high time for me to get back to the computer on a daily basis.
The last week or two has been spent:
Getting a Fence.
Yep. That bitch next door is fenced out. And while there have been no real comments from our northerly neighbors about the fence, I sense a distinct, palpable hatred emanating from their direction now. See, before, it was mostly just annoyance. After our little backyard confrontation, perhaps this turned to dislike. But now? Now that we've turned them into people who have been fenced out? Now it's hatred. And I'm loving it.
Of course, putting up the fence didn't go without a little tussle. According to the fine men of Milwaukee Fence, when they had to cut down part of a tree branch of my neighbors, which had grown into our property and got in the way of the construction, "Mark" flipped out. So these people, who seem perfectly OK having their upscale garden parties while a helpless squirrel screams out of hunger in its trap right next to them while they have their tea and cakes, freak out about part of a tree branch. Yes. These are those kind of people.
Jessica and I decided to buy 25 pounds of squirrel food and distribute it along the property line. There are squirrels coming from other states to eat on our property line now.
Getting a Job.
I can no longer rip on myself for being a contractor. So I got that goin' for me. You know the thing about orientations? How when one's coming up, perhaps you get this idea, this crazy idea, that it will be informative and interesting and helpful? That idea is hogwash. If I were a wizard, and I could physically manifest that idea, it would become hogwash. Hogs would wash in that idea, looking at me, saying, "What a fool you were, Wizard, to think this idea of yours were any better than what for us to roll amuck in?"
Lots of Gardening.
I'm not sure why. Perhaps with the fence up, Jess and I felt the privacy necessary to spend several hours in the back yard digging in the dirt. So we were out there last weekend with the dog. And the dog, all the sudden starts to *go* on the lawn. Me, I'm OK with this. He's a dog -- that's where he goes. But Jessica, she wants a green lawn. She wants him to go in his spot. So she yells at him to stop peeing, and she grabs his leash, but he starts walking -- still peeing -- in a different direction. Then it looks like he's set there. Jessica goes back to her gardening, then quickly notices the dog's still peeing on the lawn.
"Ranger, stop it!" The dog stands there, having held it mid-stream, with this guilty, annoyed look on his face. Then -- with not a hint of hesitation -- walks straight up to my wife, who's back concentrating on the plant in front of her -- lifts his leg, and pees on her.
I couldn't believe what I was watching. The whole rest of the day, no matter what the conversation was on, I kept coming back to, "Holy shit! The dog peed on you!"
The last week or two has been spent:
Getting a Fence.
Yep. That bitch next door is fenced out. And while there have been no real comments from our northerly neighbors about the fence, I sense a distinct, palpable hatred emanating from their direction now. See, before, it was mostly just annoyance. After our little backyard confrontation, perhaps this turned to dislike. But now? Now that we've turned them into people who have been fenced out? Now it's hatred. And I'm loving it.
Of course, putting up the fence didn't go without a little tussle. According to the fine men of Milwaukee Fence, when they had to cut down part of a tree branch of my neighbors, which had grown into our property and got in the way of the construction, "Mark" flipped out. So these people, who seem perfectly OK having their upscale garden parties while a helpless squirrel screams out of hunger in its trap right next to them while they have their tea and cakes, freak out about part of a tree branch. Yes. These are those kind of people.
Jessica and I decided to buy 25 pounds of squirrel food and distribute it along the property line. There are squirrels coming from other states to eat on our property line now.
Getting a Job.
I can no longer rip on myself for being a contractor. So I got that goin' for me. You know the thing about orientations? How when one's coming up, perhaps you get this idea, this crazy idea, that it will be informative and interesting and helpful? That idea is hogwash. If I were a wizard, and I could physically manifest that idea, it would become hogwash. Hogs would wash in that idea, looking at me, saying, "What a fool you were, Wizard, to think this idea of yours were any better than what for us to roll amuck in?"
Lots of Gardening.
I'm not sure why. Perhaps with the fence up, Jess and I felt the privacy necessary to spend several hours in the back yard digging in the dirt. So we were out there last weekend with the dog. And the dog, all the sudden starts to *go* on the lawn. Me, I'm OK with this. He's a dog -- that's where he goes. But Jessica, she wants a green lawn. She wants him to go in his spot. So she yells at him to stop peeing, and she grabs his leash, but he starts walking -- still peeing -- in a different direction. Then it looks like he's set there. Jessica goes back to her gardening, then quickly notices the dog's still peeing on the lawn.
"Ranger, stop it!" The dog stands there, having held it mid-stream, with this guilty, annoyed look on his face. Then -- with not a hint of hesitation -- walks straight up to my wife, who's back concentrating on the plant in front of her -- lifts his leg, and pees on her.
I couldn't believe what I was watching. The whole rest of the day, no matter what the conversation was on, I kept coming back to, "Holy shit! The dog peed on you!"
