Tuesday, October 12, 2004
The Bitch is Back
Gonna be a little more of a break as I work to kill Murali.
But in the meantime, I ought to let you all know that The Wicked Bitch of the North is back. I was out cutting the lawn yesterday -- hopefully the last cut before the frost comes -- and I took a look at the north side of the property.
Regular readers will know this as the side of the property in which I and the wife built a tall fence to fence out the bitch next door. However, this fence merely runs from the house to the garage -- it covers the back yard. Upon inspection of the thin strip of land next to the actual house, it seems for the past I-don't-know-how-many weeks, That Bitch has been dumping piles and piles of tree and bush trimmings against the side of our house.
Of course I promptly removed them, placing them in a mammoth pile on the property line where That Bitch likes to walk through and inspect our gutters. So it's just a matter of time before That Bitch comes knocking on our door. (Thank God the doorbell doesn't work.)
On an unrelated note, the neighbor on the south side of the property -- the ex-hippy, Frank -- had his own run-in with the powers of evil to the north. Except his run-in wasn't with That Bitch. It was with "Mark". As regular readers remember, "Mark" is the supposed husband of That Bitch, but Jessica and I doubt his very existence, as we've never really met the guy or seen him face-to-face.
So "Mark" was talking with Frank about river land. Frank told him he owns a cabin on a river up north, but that it's on a river with a lot of canoe and rafting traffic, so he's looking for something a bit more remote. "Mark", who is apparently a big fan of canoeing with That Bitch, got his feathers all in a ruffle and said, "Well, I wish I could canoe down some rivers that weren't so lined with cabins!" He stormed off.
People like this need to be stopped. Oh yes. Yes, gentle readers, you will remember that last time, Jessica and I decided we would spite these squirrel-hating, tea-sipping, love-poem-reading, garden-party-throwing deviants by distributing 50 punds of squirrel food along the property line. That action (which also yielded us 9 or 10 healthy ears of corn) may be repeated.
But I don't think that's enough. No, I think it's time to offend Ms. Precious Garden Lady and "Mark" by gauding up the north side of the property. We never see this side of the property. Only That Bitch and "Mark" see it. It may be time for Plan B: the placement of several dozen flourescent pink flamingos and fake plastic animals. Maybe a couple "gazing balls" would complete the new look.
I'll keep you posted.
But in the meantime, I ought to let you all know that The Wicked Bitch of the North is back. I was out cutting the lawn yesterday -- hopefully the last cut before the frost comes -- and I took a look at the north side of the property.
Regular readers will know this as the side of the property in which I and the wife built a tall fence to fence out the bitch next door. However, this fence merely runs from the house to the garage -- it covers the back yard. Upon inspection of the thin strip of land next to the actual house, it seems for the past I-don't-know-how-many weeks, That Bitch has been dumping piles and piles of tree and bush trimmings against the side of our house.
Of course I promptly removed them, placing them in a mammoth pile on the property line where That Bitch likes to walk through and inspect our gutters. So it's just a matter of time before That Bitch comes knocking on our door. (Thank God the doorbell doesn't work.)
On an unrelated note, the neighbor on the south side of the property -- the ex-hippy, Frank -- had his own run-in with the powers of evil to the north. Except his run-in wasn't with That Bitch. It was with "Mark". As regular readers remember, "Mark" is the supposed husband of That Bitch, but Jessica and I doubt his very existence, as we've never really met the guy or seen him face-to-face.
So "Mark" was talking with Frank about river land. Frank told him he owns a cabin on a river up north, but that it's on a river with a lot of canoe and rafting traffic, so he's looking for something a bit more remote. "Mark", who is apparently a big fan of canoeing with That Bitch, got his feathers all in a ruffle and said, "Well, I wish I could canoe down some rivers that weren't so lined with cabins!" He stormed off.
People like this need to be stopped. Oh yes. Yes, gentle readers, you will remember that last time, Jessica and I decided we would spite these squirrel-hating, tea-sipping, love-poem-reading, garden-party-throwing deviants by distributing 50 punds of squirrel food along the property line. That action (which also yielded us 9 or 10 healthy ears of corn) may be repeated.
But I don't think that's enough. No, I think it's time to offend Ms. Precious Garden Lady and "Mark" by gauding up the north side of the property. We never see this side of the property. Only That Bitch and "Mark" see it. It may be time for Plan B: the placement of several dozen flourescent pink flamingos and fake plastic animals. Maybe a couple "gazing balls" would complete the new look.
I'll keep you posted.
