Friday, October 08, 2004
Finding an old dresser, trying on the clothes.
Thanks to TransMac, I now have five years of old college papers up on my PC. Additionally, I have about 15 months of e-mails I haven't seen in more than four year.
While I had some interesting history, film, and coaching papers, the gold was in all the philosophy papers and materials I had. Looking back on it all, I can see where I got many of my ideas for fiction. In a year or so, whenever it is I start a fourth book, this will be key.
My biggest worry in pulling up these old documents was to find I wasn't a very good writer, that my friends are right: I was more brash, outspoken, liberal, and unchecked. I was relieved to find I have nothing to be ashamed of. Most of it looks just like I remember it. I was the same non-liberal, non-conservative, disaffected person I see in the mirror now. I have become a better writer, and a bit more careful. It's the small errors that bother me. My writing was dominated by voice before, which I've been thankfully able to dampen.
But reading through it all is a bit much. I never really expected to see all this again, so it's not easy to read through some of these e-mails -- one from a friend trying to convince me to stay in town, one from a girl breaking up with me in about as harsh a way as I never imagined she would, and a slew more. The odd thing about these e-mails, though, is I only have my Inbox, not my Sent mail, so it's like readying every other page of a story.
If only I knew then, where I'd be now. I could have relaxed.
While I had some interesting history, film, and coaching papers, the gold was in all the philosophy papers and materials I had. Looking back on it all, I can see where I got many of my ideas for fiction. In a year or so, whenever it is I start a fourth book, this will be key.
My biggest worry in pulling up these old documents was to find I wasn't a very good writer, that my friends are right: I was more brash, outspoken, liberal, and unchecked. I was relieved to find I have nothing to be ashamed of. Most of it looks just like I remember it. I was the same non-liberal, non-conservative, disaffected person I see in the mirror now. I have become a better writer, and a bit more careful. It's the small errors that bother me. My writing was dominated by voice before, which I've been thankfully able to dampen.
But reading through it all is a bit much. I never really expected to see all this again, so it's not easy to read through some of these e-mails -- one from a friend trying to convince me to stay in town, one from a girl breaking up with me in about as harsh a way as I never imagined she would, and a slew more. The odd thing about these e-mails, though, is I only have my Inbox, not my Sent mail, so it's like readying every other page of a story.
If only I knew then, where I'd be now. I could have relaxed.
