Monday, January 31, 2005
Aint No Burnin Hell
The reason I don't have a cell phone is whenever I pick up the ringing phone, I think of how the phone call will end or how I can end it.
Way back in high school, I had a girlfriend who liked talk on the phone -- talky-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talky-talk. And, in fairness to her, she was a fairly interesting person. So I talked to her. But one night I just got tired. This was long before I'd developed enough confidence or lying ability. I fell asleep. Hell, it was after 1:00 am. I had school the next day. I woke up that next morning with the phone still on my ear . . . and the girlfriend still on the line! Unbelievable! She told me she heard me drop off and thought it was either funny or cute, and then she just decided to keep the line open so she could say "good morning" to me when I woke up.
I don't think it was a real surprise to anyone when I broke that off.
There's just so much one can say over the phone. I'm better than some. I've got some friends who are just terrible on the phone. One guy -- who's name I won't mention -- but then, I really do want to mention his name -- not as any sort of in-joke or get-back-at-him sort of thing -- just because if he ever got here, or if someone he knew ever got here and read this, they would know too; maybe we would commiserate. He is so bad on the phone. How bad? He calls you. He doesn't speak. That's it. So I pick up the phone, "Oh! Hey, it's you!" And from there on in, I have to carry the entire conversation. What's worse is when I'm out of anything worth saying, I tried just stopping -- just stopped speaking for like a minute or so. He still didn't speak. Unbelievable.
Besides, every person I know, who owns and uses a cell phone, complains about their provider. Everyone. Why would I want to jump into this burning mess of anger, boring conversations, and monthly bills?
Way back in high school, I had a girlfriend who liked talk on the phone -- talky-talk-talk-talk-talk-talk-talky-talk. And, in fairness to her, she was a fairly interesting person. So I talked to her. But one night I just got tired. This was long before I'd developed enough confidence or lying ability. I fell asleep. Hell, it was after 1:00 am. I had school the next day. I woke up that next morning with the phone still on my ear . . . and the girlfriend still on the line! Unbelievable! She told me she heard me drop off and thought it was either funny or cute, and then she just decided to keep the line open so she could say "good morning" to me when I woke up.
I don't think it was a real surprise to anyone when I broke that off.
There's just so much one can say over the phone. I'm better than some. I've got some friends who are just terrible on the phone. One guy -- who's name I won't mention -- but then, I really do want to mention his name -- not as any sort of in-joke or get-back-at-him sort of thing -- just because if he ever got here, or if someone he knew ever got here and read this, they would know too; maybe we would commiserate. He is so bad on the phone. How bad? He calls you. He doesn't speak. That's it. So I pick up the phone, "Oh! Hey, it's you!" And from there on in, I have to carry the entire conversation. What's worse is when I'm out of anything worth saying, I tried just stopping -- just stopped speaking for like a minute or so. He still didn't speak. Unbelievable.
Besides, every person I know, who owns and uses a cell phone, complains about their provider. Everyone. Why would I want to jump into this burning mess of anger, boring conversations, and monthly bills?
