Saturday, January 15, 2005
Will's Advice for Men During Pregnancy, Volume 2: Holy Shit
One thing they don't teach you in the labor and delivery class or the breastfeeding class or the early infant care class:
A.) There are differing qualities of diapers.
B.) When using a poor quality diaper -- i.e., Pampers -- this kid's crap goes through the diaper. It's not done there either. It goes through the diaper, through the "onesey" outfit he's got on, through the receiving blanket, through the blanket on our bed he was laying on, and, yes, onto the bedspread. It's like that moment in Alien where acid is dripping through the ship and they're racing to see where it will stop. If it stops.
Lesson to learn: never buy Pampers. Ever. Using Pampers diapers is like holding a single sheet of paper towel under a faucet and daring the water not to blow right through it. Holy shit. Luvs, Huggies, fine. But stay away from the Pampers. Save your bedspread.
A.) There are differing qualities of diapers.
B.) When using a poor quality diaper -- i.e., Pampers -- this kid's crap goes through the diaper. It's not done there either. It goes through the diaper, through the "onesey" outfit he's got on, through the receiving blanket, through the blanket on our bed he was laying on, and, yes, onto the bedspread. It's like that moment in Alien where acid is dripping through the ship and they're racing to see where it will stop. If it stops.
Lesson to learn: never buy Pampers. Ever. Using Pampers diapers is like holding a single sheet of paper towel under a faucet and daring the water not to blow right through it. Holy shit. Luvs, Huggies, fine. But stay away from the Pampers. Save your bedspread.
