Friday, February 18, 2005
Dear New Parent Who Refuses to Use the Pacifier, aka Nook, aka Soothie, aka Binkie:
You poor bastard.
You're probably self-assured that your baby won't have any growth interference. In the moments when your kid isn't howling at the moon, you're probably talking up the benefits of how he may not experience delayed speech or an ear infection.
I once thought as you did. You think you're doing the right thing. You've patted yourself on the back for all the books you've read. You could probably write an essay on "nipple confusion". You can speak at length about potential dental problems arising from the use of the pacifier.
Execpt that's no comfort to your kid, who's getting all sorts of "exercise", crying, whining, yelping, screaming, and inventing new verbs for all the noise he's making. Since you've read that nonsense about kids who suck on pacifiers are actually hungry, you're probably feeding the kid non-stop.
Give yourself some sanity. Use the binkie. It is sanity in rubber form. You won't be any lesser of a parent, except less tired and less stressed. Besides, it's amazing to watch: he can go from freaking-out, crazy-crying . . . to perfectly calm, Maggie Simpson-sucking . . . all in like two seconds, max.
Think about it.
You're probably self-assured that your baby won't have any growth interference. In the moments when your kid isn't howling at the moon, you're probably talking up the benefits of how he may not experience delayed speech or an ear infection.
I once thought as you did. You think you're doing the right thing. You've patted yourself on the back for all the books you've read. You could probably write an essay on "nipple confusion". You can speak at length about potential dental problems arising from the use of the pacifier.
Execpt that's no comfort to your kid, who's getting all sorts of "exercise", crying, whining, yelping, screaming, and inventing new verbs for all the noise he's making. Since you've read that nonsense about kids who suck on pacifiers are actually hungry, you're probably feeding the kid non-stop.
Give yourself some sanity. Use the binkie. It is sanity in rubber form. You won't be any lesser of a parent, except less tired and less stressed. Besides, it's amazing to watch: he can go from freaking-out, crazy-crying . . . to perfectly calm, Maggie Simpson-sucking . . . all in like two seconds, max.
Think about it.
