Monday, April 25, 2005
The Class Ring
It was with grudging, disappointed approval that I agreed to my mother's imploring insistence that I get a high school class ring during my senior year. I remember it coming in the mail. It was royal blue, tremendously large and customized. At the time I thought there was something strangely unseemly about having a class ring that was customized. After all -- it's a class ring. Shouldn't the class all have the same thing? Guess not. Mine had some logo for drums (that I played only outside of school) and another logo for running.
I wore it a while. It always hurt my hand whenever I shook hands with people . . . mainly because it was so damn big. At some point, I stopped wearing it. I'm not sure when that was, but I know it was by the summer after I graduated. It was best that I stopped wearing it. There was no reason to wear it. I hated high school and had no pride in mine or my experience there. I got talked into the ring. What can I say? I have a low resistance to a sales pitch.
What I can't understand is these ads on television advertising a high school education through the mail. One of their big selling points is "you even get a class ring when you graduate". Huh? What the hell does that signify that the diploma does not? Does the class ring magically manufacture memories of a "class" you didn't really have because you took classes through the mail?
I've met a few people -- guys, my age or thereabouts -- who still wear their class rings. Consistently. I've learned a few things about these guys:
1.) They are very confident of themselves. Cocksure. Extremely secure.
2.) Know-it-alls.
3.) Will talk your ear off.
4.) Have some scheme for making it big in a market or business you never thought of.
5.) Are well-dressed.
6.) On the Id-Ego-Superego spectrum, fall easily into Superego.
7.) Seem to have an inordinate amount of sex, in comparison to the rest of the world.
8.) Always have a story to top yours.
9.) Are always, always, always busy, busy, busy, in a rush, rush, rush.
I don't trust these people. They're nice guys and all. Really. I'm sure. But I don't trust people who enjoyed high school enough to wear it on their hand ten years later. And the size of those rings! They're not exactly subtle -- I mean, just what is it are these guys trying to tell the world, other than that they loved high school?
I wore it a while. It always hurt my hand whenever I shook hands with people . . . mainly because it was so damn big. At some point, I stopped wearing it. I'm not sure when that was, but I know it was by the summer after I graduated. It was best that I stopped wearing it. There was no reason to wear it. I hated high school and had no pride in mine or my experience there. I got talked into the ring. What can I say? I have a low resistance to a sales pitch.
What I can't understand is these ads on television advertising a high school education through the mail. One of their big selling points is "you even get a class ring when you graduate". Huh? What the hell does that signify that the diploma does not? Does the class ring magically manufacture memories of a "class" you didn't really have because you took classes through the mail?
I've met a few people -- guys, my age or thereabouts -- who still wear their class rings. Consistently. I've learned a few things about these guys:
1.) They are very confident of themselves. Cocksure. Extremely secure.
2.) Know-it-alls.
3.) Will talk your ear off.
4.) Have some scheme for making it big in a market or business you never thought of.
5.) Are well-dressed.
6.) On the Id-Ego-Superego spectrum, fall easily into Superego.
7.) Seem to have an inordinate amount of sex, in comparison to the rest of the world.
8.) Always have a story to top yours.
9.) Are always, always, always busy, busy, busy, in a rush, rush, rush.
I don't trust these people. They're nice guys and all. Really. I'm sure. But I don't trust people who enjoyed high school enough to wear it on their hand ten years later. And the size of those rings! They're not exactly subtle -- I mean, just what is it are these guys trying to tell the world, other than that they loved high school?
