Monday, June 20, 2005
Further Evidence (OR) Maniacs All Around Me
At work we have this online classified ads page on our company intranet. It's full of lonely cats, used cds, light-up Jesus figures, and used baby toys. But occasionally we'll get a community announcement. "Fish Fry at St. Nazarene's" "Huge Rummage in West Allis" "Line Dancing on Saturday Night" Today we got this announcement:
So simple, isn't it? Just speaks for itself. Or as I have said: one half the populace. Do you notice how the post is all IN-CAPS? I think this dovetails nicely with my treatise on the karaoke-enthused half of the populace. They can't just talk about karaoke. They can't just think about karaoke. They can never have a discussion about karaoke. It's always:
KARAOKE!!!!!!!!!!
Do you notice the ten exclamation points? Is it really that good? Couldn't they have stopped at nine? What does the tenth exclamation point give that the ninth could not? In their writing and in their speech, the karaoke-crazy half of the world cannot control their enthusiasm for singing to drunks from a screen that shows them the words.
More and more, as I meet members of the other side of the populace, my side, the smaller, quieter, more rationale, anti-karaoke side of the populace . . . I feel I am meeting long-lost relatives, kindred spirits, shared brethren. And I sense a similar sentiment from these karaoke-hating folk. It's like they've gone through the same sea of nothingness and fake excitement, wondering -- as I do -- is this all there is after college? Work idiots getting together after-shift to sing badly to each other and other strangers?
The most frightening thing about the divide over karaoke is not that some of my friends and loved ones worship the dark side of the karaoke. It's that as much as I think there ought to be some magnificent, tangible, inalienable divide between my people and the karaoke people . . . . there's not. They're all around me. They're just like me . . . except in this one frightening way. How can that be? How can people so normal, so rational, so understanding, so well-balanced, so intelligent, so regular . . . be so intractably insane?
KARAOKE!!!!!!!!!!........................JUNE 24
So simple, isn't it? Just speaks for itself. Or as I have said: one half the populace. Do you notice how the post is all IN-CAPS? I think this dovetails nicely with my treatise on the karaoke-enthused half of the populace. They can't just talk about karaoke. They can't just think about karaoke. They can never have a discussion about karaoke. It's always:
KARAOKE!!!!!!!!!!
Do you notice the ten exclamation points? Is it really that good? Couldn't they have stopped at nine? What does the tenth exclamation point give that the ninth could not? In their writing and in their speech, the karaoke-crazy half of the world cannot control their enthusiasm for singing to drunks from a screen that shows them the words.
More and more, as I meet members of the other side of the populace, my side, the smaller, quieter, more rationale, anti-karaoke side of the populace . . . I feel I am meeting long-lost relatives, kindred spirits, shared brethren. And I sense a similar sentiment from these karaoke-hating folk. It's like they've gone through the same sea of nothingness and fake excitement, wondering -- as I do -- is this all there is after college? Work idiots getting together after-shift to sing badly to each other and other strangers?
The most frightening thing about the divide over karaoke is not that some of my friends and loved ones worship the dark side of the karaoke. It's that as much as I think there ought to be some magnificent, tangible, inalienable divide between my people and the karaoke people . . . . there's not. They're all around me. They're just like me . . . except in this one frightening way. How can that be? How can people so normal, so rational, so understanding, so well-balanced, so intelligent, so regular . . . be so intractably insane?
