Thursday, June 15, 2006
Everything Important I Can Tell My Younger Sister as She Prepares to Leave for College
I've sat through a lot of graduations, and come to the conclusion that THIS is what they should thank parents for. Not for the help, support, money, direction, or kick in the pants. People should thank parents for attending those God-awful graduations and listening to all those speeches.
The graduation speech can only go so many ways, so they typically all say the same thing. The several I recently sat through were not bad. I've certainly heard worse. But they were that same exact speech, none-the-less. The graduation speech has some slight merit -- it can be mildly motivating. But they're all so wishy-washy. They all seem to lean on some phrase of poetry to make their point. They always seem to want to answer "what that four years was for". They want to encourage others to lead the next generation, yet shruggingly admit that they cannot change the world: so I guess we can have our molehill and eat our mountain too.
Here's what's important:
• Take pride in decorating your dorm room. Don't put up the typical crap. Make it you, but make it different. Spend time with your roommate, arranging it right, even if it may not be simple or easy. Too many people do what's easy. This is your living space, your entertaining space. Make it something. Besides, you're in college -- you've got the time to prioritize this. This may be the most important advice I can give you. You may want to consider closing the browser right now because if you just listen to me here, you'll have gained something.
• That butterfly-in-the-stomach feeling you get right now when you think about moving, classes, etc . . . . that's normal. Like adrenaline before a race. It's normal to be a little afraid. That only shows you're normal, and it will only help you.
• Too many undergrads flunk out because they've come from a lot of rules to a land of a lot of freedom, and they don't remember what they're there for. Leave your dorm room to study. Make studying an action, a part of your schedule away from the dorm, other people and televisions. The library is your friend. Find a floor on the library that you like -- for me, it was 1 by the government section or 5 by the film books -- and make that your place. Study on Saturday mornings. This might depress you, but remember: there are no study halls and very few idiotic classes now that you've left high school. You're going to enjoy your classes more.
• Get that responsibility stuff out of the way first. If you get into a good groove in the first month of laundry, dishes, studying, working out, getting to all classes on time, etc, it's easier.
• You're a girl, so you've got it tougher than guys. Sorry, that's just how it is. A guy doesn't think about going to rape his friend when he's putting on cologne after his shower. But five or six hours later when he's drunk and she's passed out in a bedroom it happens. This means you can't drink as much as you might want to. Figure out your limits. Carry mace. Or at least Binaca (it worked for Elaine on Seinfeld).
• Just because you room with someone or live across the hall from someone doesn't mean you're friends. This is a hard thing to accept sometimes. The great wonder though is that sometimes you do just hit it off with people who you've been randomly paired with. But don't think you have to pretend to agree with someone on something just to get along.
• One of the best times I had in school was so simple -- it was the day before a big race, two friends and I were finished with classes for the day, and we had time to kill, so we went to a resale shop. That's it. No mythical party. No great race. No insightful speech. Just an afternoon. I knew at the time that most people don't have the opportunity to fuck around at 2PM on a Thursday. You've got to take advantage of that chance.
• "Beer before liquor and you're sicker quicker. Liquer before beer and you're in the clear." Mind this little mantra. Don't think you're bigger than this piece of advice. Also: drink water while you drink. If it's a house party, they won't be offering water, so hit the bathroom once or twice to hydrate a little. It's not a failsafe, but it helps.
• Worst piece of advice I received while in college was from two people I really respected: "Once you get older, you'll look back on all the things you thought were important in college, and you'll realize it wasn't that big of a deal." This is the biggest pile of horseshit -- don't listen to condescending, minimalizing bullshit like this. Just follow this argument to a logical conclusion, and you'll realize why it is useless: "Nothing in the present is important because time fades away and you'll always grow older, move on, and develop other interests and concerns." This is the ethos of the nihilists.
• Best piece of advice I received after high school was from my grandma: "Time moves really fast after high school." Doesn't sound like advice, does it?
The graduation speech can only go so many ways, so they typically all say the same thing. The several I recently sat through were not bad. I've certainly heard worse. But they were that same exact speech, none-the-less. The graduation speech has some slight merit -- it can be mildly motivating. But they're all so wishy-washy. They all seem to lean on some phrase of poetry to make their point. They always seem to want to answer "what that four years was for". They want to encourage others to lead the next generation, yet shruggingly admit that they cannot change the world: so I guess we can have our molehill and eat our mountain too.
Here's what's important:
• Take pride in decorating your dorm room. Don't put up the typical crap. Make it you, but make it different. Spend time with your roommate, arranging it right, even if it may not be simple or easy. Too many people do what's easy. This is your living space, your entertaining space. Make it something. Besides, you're in college -- you've got the time to prioritize this. This may be the most important advice I can give you. You may want to consider closing the browser right now because if you just listen to me here, you'll have gained something.
• That butterfly-in-the-stomach feeling you get right now when you think about moving, classes, etc . . . . that's normal. Like adrenaline before a race. It's normal to be a little afraid. That only shows you're normal, and it will only help you.
• Too many undergrads flunk out because they've come from a lot of rules to a land of a lot of freedom, and they don't remember what they're there for. Leave your dorm room to study. Make studying an action, a part of your schedule away from the dorm, other people and televisions. The library is your friend. Find a floor on the library that you like -- for me, it was 1 by the government section or 5 by the film books -- and make that your place. Study on Saturday mornings. This might depress you, but remember: there are no study halls and very few idiotic classes now that you've left high school. You're going to enjoy your classes more.
• Get that responsibility stuff out of the way first. If you get into a good groove in the first month of laundry, dishes, studying, working out, getting to all classes on time, etc, it's easier.
• You're a girl, so you've got it tougher than guys. Sorry, that's just how it is. A guy doesn't think about going to rape his friend when he's putting on cologne after his shower. But five or six hours later when he's drunk and she's passed out in a bedroom it happens. This means you can't drink as much as you might want to. Figure out your limits. Carry mace. Or at least Binaca (it worked for Elaine on Seinfeld).
• Just because you room with someone or live across the hall from someone doesn't mean you're friends. This is a hard thing to accept sometimes. The great wonder though is that sometimes you do just hit it off with people who you've been randomly paired with. But don't think you have to pretend to agree with someone on something just to get along.
• One of the best times I had in school was so simple -- it was the day before a big race, two friends and I were finished with classes for the day, and we had time to kill, so we went to a resale shop. That's it. No mythical party. No great race. No insightful speech. Just an afternoon. I knew at the time that most people don't have the opportunity to fuck around at 2PM on a Thursday. You've got to take advantage of that chance.
• "Beer before liquor and you're sicker quicker. Liquer before beer and you're in the clear." Mind this little mantra. Don't think you're bigger than this piece of advice. Also: drink water while you drink. If it's a house party, they won't be offering water, so hit the bathroom once or twice to hydrate a little. It's not a failsafe, but it helps.
• Worst piece of advice I received while in college was from two people I really respected: "Once you get older, you'll look back on all the things you thought were important in college, and you'll realize it wasn't that big of a deal." This is the biggest pile of horseshit -- don't listen to condescending, minimalizing bullshit like this. Just follow this argument to a logical conclusion, and you'll realize why it is useless: "Nothing in the present is important because time fades away and you'll always grow older, move on, and develop other interests and concerns." This is the ethos of the nihilists.
• Best piece of advice I received after high school was from my grandma: "Time moves really fast after high school." Doesn't sound like advice, does it?
