Monday, January 08, 2007
Riding the Brakes
After a certain age, you can never please people. At some point, people will wonder why you don't have a girlfriend. And then when you get one, they'll wonder when you'll get married. And then when you do, they'll wonder when you'll have kids. And then when you do, they'll wonder when you'll have more.
I get that all the time now. "So, are you two gonna have another baaaaaaby? When are ya gonna have another baaaaaaby?"
And then what happens after that, fine reader? You already know. We'll have one and then they'll ask: "When is the next one coming?"
No more. Got it? The line is drawn in the sand. And I'm not going to be nice about it anymore, either. I'm calling it as I see it: "Do you think the wife and I are stupid? Because stupid people don't learn effect from cause. And we're not stupid."
We know that 1+1=2 little monsters, tearing apart our house all the time and demanding attention. One boy is enough. Actually, he is like six boys in one. He is. I'm not boasting or complaining. Well, a little. But I've seen other boys. This is some kind of reptile we've got.
"But you can't just have ooooooone. He can't be an ooooooonly child. What about a buddy for him?" People say this as if they think they can guilt me and the wife into having another child. Again -- do you think I am an idiot? Some sort of happy sadist? Another one? Listen, I know my limitations once I've reached them, and I've reached them. I'm a good father, but I'm not a fool. The boy will be fine. We'll get him dogs.
I love the gremlin, but I'm not getting him wet. End of story.
I get that all the time now. "So, are you two gonna have another baaaaaaby? When are ya gonna have another baaaaaaby?"
And then what happens after that, fine reader? You already know. We'll have one and then they'll ask: "When is the next one coming?"
No more. Got it? The line is drawn in the sand. And I'm not going to be nice about it anymore, either. I'm calling it as I see it: "Do you think the wife and I are stupid? Because stupid people don't learn effect from cause. And we're not stupid."
We know that 1+1=2 little monsters, tearing apart our house all the time and demanding attention. One boy is enough. Actually, he is like six boys in one. He is. I'm not boasting or complaining. Well, a little. But I've seen other boys. This is some kind of reptile we've got.
"But you can't just have ooooooone. He can't be an ooooooonly child. What about a buddy for him?" People say this as if they think they can guilt me and the wife into having another child. Again -- do you think I am an idiot? Some sort of happy sadist? Another one? Listen, I know my limitations once I've reached them, and I've reached them. I'm a good father, but I'm not a fool. The boy will be fine. We'll get him dogs.
I love the gremlin, but I'm not getting him wet. End of story.
