Thursday, April 26, 2007
Out of Jelly Belly Control
I'd like to apologize to all the people at the Jelly Belly factory today who happened to be on the factory tour at the same time me and my wife and boy were there. That screaming child who wouldn't stop screaming, and was just a complete, irrational, screaming maniac, who you probably wanted to turn around and strangle because he wouldn't stop screaming was my boy.
I don't know why he screamed the whole time. I know it was a boring tour, but it sure didn't warrant such a display. I wanted to grab him and walk out, but the lady at the front said we couldn't exit the train. But it wasn't really a train, was it? It was more of like a 'tram'. And it wasn't really a tour of the factory, was it? It was more like a tour of a warehouse used by the factory, where they had installed a bunch of TVs that we had to stop to watch for 99% of the "tour". And then it kind of turned into a real money-grab at the end, there, didn't it? The way the tour ended conveniently at the gift shop.
It fairly sucked, didn't it?
But that's no excuse, I know. I still apologize. Because for as much as it sucked, my son made it even worse. But take some solace. Some day when my son is old and successful, plainly full of himself, he can come to this website and learn how his mom and dad wanted to take him to the nearest orphanage, zoo or street corner and sell him for $50 bucks one cold, rainy day in April, during the terrible two's.
I don't know why he screamed the whole time. I know it was a boring tour, but it sure didn't warrant such a display. I wanted to grab him and walk out, but the lady at the front said we couldn't exit the train. But it wasn't really a train, was it? It was more of like a 'tram'. And it wasn't really a tour of the factory, was it? It was more like a tour of a warehouse used by the factory, where they had installed a bunch of TVs that we had to stop to watch for 99% of the "tour". And then it kind of turned into a real money-grab at the end, there, didn't it? The way the tour ended conveniently at the gift shop.
It fairly sucked, didn't it?
But that's no excuse, I know. I still apologize. Because for as much as it sucked, my son made it even worse. But take some solace. Some day when my son is old and successful, plainly full of himself, he can come to this website and learn how his mom and dad wanted to take him to the nearest orphanage, zoo or street corner and sell him for $50 bucks one cold, rainy day in April, during the terrible two's.
