Friday, April 06, 2007
Rating the Kiddie Shows
It is inevitable. At some point in time, you see enough of these things, and you can't turn them off in your head. They are built to be crack for your kids, and they end up sticking in your head too. And before you know it, you find yourself enjoying or hating these things, just like your kids (but do they ever hate them? - probably not). So here they are in my view.
The Best
Charlie and Lola
Maybe it's the British accents, but this show is hilarious. And my kid has the biggest crush on Lola, who he stares at wistfully, and calls, "La-laaa". It's pretty predictable, but always funny and British.
Sesame Street
I agree that SS pre-Elmo was great, but it's still pretty good. He does grate on you, sure. But you still got some old cast members, which is amazing. And the Cookie Monster pretty much makes the whole thing worthwhile. It doesn't matter that he does the same thing every time. He gives gluttony a good name, and it's a beautiful thing to watch his self-control break down and see him take down all those cookies.
Bob the Builder
No one will admit it, but everyone likes this show because we all love to see how they build or fix things. That's really all there is to it.
The Worst -- These are the shows I try to keep my kid from even finding out about.
Barney
Not that this one needs an explanation. It's just so sickening with his sugary voice and all those weirdo kids fake singing and dancing around. And those kids never fight, do they? They're always just getting along like the saints on Sunday. What a load that is. Even on Sesame Street, Elmo and Zoe fight over her stupid pet rock.
Rafi
Click the link and take a look at the picture. Would you leave your kid with this guy?
The Wiggles
This is the worst of the worst. I'm just going to say what everyone else is too politically correct to say: It's four gay, 40-something Australian guys dancing around in Star Trek clothes. I don't know why kids fall so hard for these guys. Beyond being mind-meltingly annoying, they rank a solid 10 on the creepy scale. These guys should be used to torture political prisoners and terrorists. Lock the prisoners in a windowless room for four hours with the Wiggles and see how they do.
The Best
Charlie and Lola
Maybe it's the British accents, but this show is hilarious. And my kid has the biggest crush on Lola, who he stares at wistfully, and calls, "La-laaa". It's pretty predictable, but always funny and British.
Sesame Street
I agree that SS pre-Elmo was great, but it's still pretty good. He does grate on you, sure. But you still got some old cast members, which is amazing. And the Cookie Monster pretty much makes the whole thing worthwhile. It doesn't matter that he does the same thing every time. He gives gluttony a good name, and it's a beautiful thing to watch his self-control break down and see him take down all those cookies.
Bob the Builder
No one will admit it, but everyone likes this show because we all love to see how they build or fix things. That's really all there is to it.
The Worst -- These are the shows I try to keep my kid from even finding out about.
Barney
Not that this one needs an explanation. It's just so sickening with his sugary voice and all those weirdo kids fake singing and dancing around. And those kids never fight, do they? They're always just getting along like the saints on Sunday. What a load that is. Even on Sesame Street, Elmo and Zoe fight over her stupid pet rock.
Rafi
Click the link and take a look at the picture. Would you leave your kid with this guy?
The Wiggles
This is the worst of the worst. I'm just going to say what everyone else is too politically correct to say: It's four gay, 40-something Australian guys dancing around in Star Trek clothes. I don't know why kids fall so hard for these guys. Beyond being mind-meltingly annoying, they rank a solid 10 on the creepy scale. These guys should be used to torture political prisoners and terrorists. Lock the prisoners in a windowless room for four hours with the Wiggles and see how they do.
