Saturday, October 27, 2007
Time for Pimento
The thing I don't understand about all cracker advertisements is how the cracker people always want to portray these things as if they are so 'versatile'. Then they proceed to show the viewer all the hundreds of ways one can use the crackers. And the thing that's got me chapped is how it's never a simple presentation. They never show somebody with his hand digging into the bag and then stuffing the things in his mouth. They never show a simple cracker with melted cheese.
But we get plenty of shots of cucumber with a tomato slice, topped with a perfectly-placed dollop of sour cream. There's crackers with three different cheeses, with the cheese cut into triangles and angled just perfectly so the viewing can see equal amounts of each type of cheese. They've got the dollop of cream cheese with a sprig of mint -- a fucking sprig of mint -- offset with a garnish of pimento. I just want to know who has the time to get that fucking pimento in place so it is equidistant from the mint and the edge of the dollop.
But we get plenty of shots of cucumber with a tomato slice, topped with a perfectly-placed dollop of sour cream. There's crackers with three different cheeses, with the cheese cut into triangles and angled just perfectly so the viewing can see equal amounts of each type of cheese. They've got the dollop of cream cheese with a sprig of mint -- a fucking sprig of mint -- offset with a garnish of pimento. I just want to know who has the time to get that fucking pimento in place so it is equidistant from the mint and the edge of the dollop.
