Saturday, October 27, 2007
When You Take Your Grandmother to Her First Packer Game in 30 Years
On the walk in: "Why are we walking all this way? I would have paid these people for parking! This is such a long walk. You know I'm not that young anymore?"
During the National Anthem: "Grandpa always cries during this song."
When the crowd boos as the Eagles are announced: "Oh COME ON! Let's be good sports now! Really. That's just shameful. Do they really boo like that?"
On their chances, repeated once per quarter and throughout the fourth: "Oh, damnit, they're going to lose! Damnit, they're going to lose! I just know it!"
Answering my question as to whether she wanted anything to eat: "What? HERE? We're not eating here. We'll go home and eat Grandpa's food. We're not eating this junk."
On other people eating the food: "Look at that. Look at him eat that. Everyone's eating like that. They can't make their house payments, but they can come here and stuff their faces."
On the girls next to us: "How many times are they going to get up and walk past us?! That's the seventh time they've gotten up and walked past us! Unbelieveable! You come to a game, and you don't watch it -- you're always UP!"
On the woman in front of her: "This woman in front of me is drunk. She keeps talking to me. She's drunk. I don't know what to say to her because she's drunk and I can't understand her. She seems to think we're friends. I wish she'd turn around. She's drunk."
Many people in the family have told me that she had a great time. After all, they did win.
During the National Anthem: "Grandpa always cries during this song."
When the crowd boos as the Eagles are announced: "Oh COME ON! Let's be good sports now! Really. That's just shameful. Do they really boo like that?"
On their chances, repeated once per quarter and throughout the fourth: "Oh, damnit, they're going to lose! Damnit, they're going to lose! I just know it!"
Answering my question as to whether she wanted anything to eat: "What? HERE? We're not eating here. We'll go home and eat Grandpa's food. We're not eating this junk."
On other people eating the food: "Look at that. Look at him eat that. Everyone's eating like that. They can't make their house payments, but they can come here and stuff their faces."
On the girls next to us: "How many times are they going to get up and walk past us?! That's the seventh time they've gotten up and walked past us! Unbelieveable! You come to a game, and you don't watch it -- you're always UP!"
On the woman in front of her: "This woman in front of me is drunk. She keeps talking to me. She's drunk. I don't know what to say to her because she's drunk and I can't understand her. She seems to think we're friends. I wish she'd turn around. She's drunk."
Many people in the family have told me that she had a great time. After all, they did win.
New Release Tuesday
It's always a great feeling to have a new Neil Young release in stores. I make sure to go to a store to get mine, these days. I still do plenty of Internet shopping, but some bands are worth a new release Tuesday visit to the music store.
It's a strong album by Neil, and I say that for just one reason. Most people reviewing the album know that it's cobbled together with old and new stuff. My ear tells me there are three different sessions on this disc, covering 20 years, different players, not to mention some additional production and mixing for this release. And while I agree that it's sort of a lazy release, the fact that it works is what's most important. And the kicker is: if people didn't know it was cobbled together, it would be getting raves.
I think he's cobbled together worse albums -- "American Stars and Bars", "Hawks and Doves", "Are You Passionate?" are three that come to mind, and I like all those albums. But they don't work quite as well as this one. As Neil puts it, "They just keep on comin in a long, long line. I'm a Believer."
It's a strong album by Neil, and I say that for just one reason. Most people reviewing the album know that it's cobbled together with old and new stuff. My ear tells me there are three different sessions on this disc, covering 20 years, different players, not to mention some additional production and mixing for this release. And while I agree that it's sort of a lazy release, the fact that it works is what's most important. And the kicker is: if people didn't know it was cobbled together, it would be getting raves.
I think he's cobbled together worse albums -- "American Stars and Bars", "Hawks and Doves", "Are You Passionate?" are three that come to mind, and I like all those albums. But they don't work quite as well as this one. As Neil puts it, "They just keep on comin in a long, long line. I'm a Believer."
Time for Pimento
The thing I don't understand about all cracker advertisements is how the cracker people always want to portray these things as if they are so 'versatile'. Then they proceed to show the viewer all the hundreds of ways one can use the crackers. And the thing that's got me chapped is how it's never a simple presentation. They never show somebody with his hand digging into the bag and then stuffing the things in his mouth. They never show a simple cracker with melted cheese.
But we get plenty of shots of cucumber with a tomato slice, topped with a perfectly-placed dollop of sour cream. There's crackers with three different cheeses, with the cheese cut into triangles and angled just perfectly so the viewing can see equal amounts of each type of cheese. They've got the dollop of cream cheese with a sprig of mint -- a fucking sprig of mint -- offset with a garnish of pimento. I just want to know who has the time to get that fucking pimento in place so it is equidistant from the mint and the edge of the dollop.
But we get plenty of shots of cucumber with a tomato slice, topped with a perfectly-placed dollop of sour cream. There's crackers with three different cheeses, with the cheese cut into triangles and angled just perfectly so the viewing can see equal amounts of each type of cheese. They've got the dollop of cream cheese with a sprig of mint -- a fucking sprig of mint -- offset with a garnish of pimento. I just want to know who has the time to get that fucking pimento in place so it is equidistant from the mint and the edge of the dollop.
